How to be a poser at the gym

I would describe myself as a bit of a gym bunny as I go there most days. But I also wear make up, jewellery, and I coordinate my gym outfit so that my clothes match my shoes.

Some people go to the gym to get fit, and others go there to pose. When I first joined the gym, I always went in an old t-shirt and got very red-faced when running. Now, I have a very coordinated gym wardrobe and I don’t go near the running machine (you can’t sweat at the gym!) It’s dawned on me – I have become a gym poser.

IMG_4431.JPGI have quite a standard regime: cycle, cross train, free weights – although sometimes I mix this up a bit by cross training before I cycle… erratic, I know. And these machines are all at the front of the gym next to the other girl posers.

I would row, because I know how good this is for you, but this is a big no-no at my gym. The rowing machines are located at the back of the gym by all the heavy weights, and they attract a different kind of poser. The hench male poser.

If you’re a young man at my gym, you need a low cut vest top, any vaguely looking sporty shoes that aren’t actually trainers, and a friend in a matching outfit. You need to stand next to the weights, or even perch on a weight machine, strike a pose by tensing your arms, and then watch everyone else. Occasionally, sweep your hair back out of your face, even though it wasn’t in your face to start with. When anyone walks past, turn your head to look at them, and very occasionally, pick up a weight to do one or two reps, and then put it down and resume watching everybody else.

It’s integral to work in a pack. Usually in a pair, so that when you are lifting a weight, your companion has still got the area under surveillance so that no one can walk past without one of you being on the look-out to watch.

I know that I’m a poser, because I’ve been out and bought a funky pair of trainers specifically to enhance my gym image.

These are my new ‘creps’ – Addidas Adipure trainers. They are gym trainers: cycling trainers, cross training trainers, and free weight trainers, and not a speck of mud will ever reach them.


I have a different pair of trainers for running, so I’m not completely a lost cause. The running pair will get muddy and worn out but my gym appearance won’t be tarnished because my gym trainers will still have a glowing white sole.

I have also invested in some purple leggings. These aren’t your standard leggings, they’re bright and perfect for hanging out in the gym in… and crucially – they match my trainers.

I love all the brightly-coloured sports wear that’s around at the moment – I’m a poser, and proud.

Out(side) with the old and in with the new!

Do I look like a plank?


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